Freedom
by Red4321
Summary: In a world of darkness and demons, it can be hard to image anything scarier. But when matters of the heart come to play, there is little that is more painful when you have to choose. In the end no matter what her choice, kagome will find her freedom. - ON HOLD
1. Island

Ok so just throwing it out there, this is the first story I have ever written. It might suck, it might now. Im winging it here. Not sure who she's going to end up with. Im a huge kogaXkagome person, but I also recently read a bankotsu story (little dove, its awesome, read it!) so I don't know who is going to turn up in this thing. I appreciate all constructive criticism, prompts, suggestions what have you. If you're a jerk in reviews ill just skim ya, can't please everyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sitting off to the side attempting to relax by the fire, Kagome was curled in on herself lost in thought. It was late and there was still no sign of Inuyasha. The wispy lizard demons were spotted a while ago and with her unneeded Sherlock skills she can easily guess where he went running off to. She let out a deep sigh in frustration and sadness. Just unsure why she let herself get so worked up about these things, maybe she was jealous she thought? It would make dealing with this easier if she could at least label it and then she can use that as a starting point to figure out how to get passed it. Yet jealousy of a clay figure, with a partial soul, and no future just didn't seem to be the answer. If anything she felt pity for the poor thing who was ripped from her grave and so carelessly remade that she was left only to feel hatred and resentment all the rest of her days.

She glanced around the camp site and saw sango shooting her a worried glance, miroku was pretending as if nothing was amiss but was just as tense as if he knew an argument was just around the corner. Shippo was right along with Sango and he was itching to come over and try to comfort her. She wanted none of it. Tired of the pity and the stares and the 'poor girl' vibes she got, she just wanted out.

"Hey guys Im going to take a walk I need to stretch my legs." She walked over to the area next to a tree she would be sleeping near and got her things ready for bed. Unsure of when she would return she just wanted to have one last task to worry about doing when she was ready for sleep.

Sango was nervous to allow her friend to go wandering off after dark and needed to make her unease known. "Kagome, I would rather you didn't walk off alone, it's too dangerous on your own." Kagome knew it probably wasn't the smartest idea, but she's gotten a lot better at her archery and doesn't hesitate as long as she used to. Plus Kaede's education on how to channel her miko powers was a real and literal life saver in dire circumstances. It was nice not to feel like the weakest one out of the group anymore that needed constant rescuing and protection. Kagome put on her best self-assured smile and promised Sango to take her short bow for protection and not to walk to far away so she could shout if she needed assistance. Knowing she wasn't going to win and somewhat satisfied with kagome's plan; Sango walked over and wrapped her sister in a tight embrace. "It's ok Kagome, if you need us we are here to listen. You don't always have to stay trapped in your mind and put on a smile for us." In her words Kagome felt the comfort and love from those so important to her, but even still they could not fill the void that remained in her heart. She hugged her friend back fiercely, looked her square in the eye and gave her a grateful nod of understanding. From there she set off to find a place to ease her conscious.

She had only been walking maybe 20 minutes when she found a small clearing. The moon shone brightly on the lush grass and the wind was calm and soothing. For just a moment she could stop and close her eyes. She cleared her mind of everything and just took in the smell of the woods, the feel of the warm breeze on her face and the sound of nature's tiny creatures playing a melody for what seemed to be just for her. It was in these moments of solitude, that she found a freedom she seldom got to enjoy. There was no one here she had to put on for, or protect. No one to lie to her, put her down or frustrate her. While she loved her friends dearly, sometimes it just got to be too much to always be around people.

As the moment of peace passed; it was time now to really start to consider how to put the drama that was kikyo in the past, permanently. She had considered asking her friends for advice but it felt ridiculous to tell her friends of her relationship problems. What were her problems compared to Sango? Her whole family was killed and her brother was slave to naraku and constantly dangled in her face.

How could she go to miroku? The man hardly took many things serious as it was, but even he suffers a great curse that killed his father and terrifies him of his very future.

Of course there is Shippo, but he's just a child. While he lets on that he secretly knows more than what he's supposed to, there's no way I could burden a child with such adult matters. Not to mention the great losses he's suffered.

 _Honestly…where was I in all this? What losses have I suffered?_ To even start to talk about such trivial things made her feel so small and petty. But furthered her inside herself where she felt this needed to be something she resolved on her own.

The night wore on and she continued to process her frustrations. How much time she spent out there she wouldn't know, the soothing siren of the crickets and the warm breeze lulled her into a tranquility that whisked her off to sleep.


	2. Tough Choices

Inuyasha arrives back at the camp site after his long conversation with Kikyo. He can't shake the guilt and nerves from knowing he'll have to face Kagome. He's not even in full view of his friends yet before he can tell instantly she's not there. Her sweet scent is missing among the others and trepidation creeps into his mind. _Did she go home again? Is she ok?_ Just then he spots Miroku sitting peacefully by the fire with his staff resting over his shoulder and his eyes closed in contemplation.

"Hey where's Kagome! Did she run off home again?!"

Miroku popped one eye open to stare down his over eager comrade. "Calm down Inuyasha, she assured us she wasn't going to stray too far from here. She wanted time alone." More than a little agitate that Miroku let Kagome go off on her own; he was also relieved she hadn't just abandoned him altogether and went home. With that bit of information Inuyasha raced off to find her, it was not safe for her to be on her own in the middle of the night. Even if she could signal for help, demons are quick and who knows how long she would be able to hold one off if a demon tried to attack her.

As he jumped through the trees and sniffed her out he steeled his nerves for what he could be walking into. He thought he knew what he was in for, but even if he didn't, this needed to end. The sneaking, the lying, promises to two women when he simply could not keep all his promises.

On one hand Kagome is strong, resourceful, and brilliant. Her soul burns so purely and brightly her image is a true reflection of the beauty she holds within. She wants me to live, as I am. She accepts me as no other has and maybe had I met her first there would be no doubt in my mind that my future is with her.

But that's just not the case. As Kikyo was all those things and more. My first love, my companion as I wondered for so long on my own. She was home and peace. She may not be what she once was, but that is only because of what Naraku did and she should not be abandoned for what he did to her. She has my undying loyalty and I continue to lover her as I remember her, not for who she was forced to be.

While Kagome is not Kikyo and that is very clear. What are the chances that I fall in love with a woman and then her reincarnation? Just to have that same woman and her reincarnation love me back just as strongly. As I'm only able to be fully honest in my mind it becomes apparent.. What if it's simply the soul I was meant to be with? And ever since Urusuay; that soul is now in two people, how on earth do I choose between my past and my future, when in the end they harbor pieces of the same soul I was destined to be with?


End file.
